Feedback & Communication

Do you really have to be brutal when delivering feedback to others? Some people think “nice” is a four letter word. This comes from a workplace culture where people are afraid to speak the truth. Instead of looking for a “nice” way to communicate critical feedback, they think there is only the opposite choice — being cruel when giving feedback. This is a classic example of dichotomous thinking. Dichotomous thinking means thinking of a situation in terms of black and …

Avoid the “post hoc fallacy” of your daily work life There was once a wise man named Nasreddin, who had a wicked sense of humor. One day, he was observed in his garden sprinkling bread crumbs. A servant asked him what he was doing. He replied, “I am sprinkling bread crumbs to keep the tigers away.” The servant replied, “But there are no tigers within 1000 miles!” Nasreddin smiled and said, “See? It is working!” Nasreddin was poking fun at …

You’ve acknowledged to yourself that you recoil from giving critical feedback to employees. Whether this stems from a desire to avoid workplace conflict, a lack of confidence in your communication style or concerns over doubting your opinion post-feedback, you would like to improve for your own sake, and for the sake of your employees. After all, they are relying on you as their manager to guide their work performance in order to succeed at their career goals. How to proceed?

When I have asked managers why they hesitate to give constructive feedback to their employees, I hear things like: I’m worried she’ll get upset I’m afraid to hurt our relationship I don’t think he can take it and will argue I don’t want to start a conflict What do all of these excuses have in common? Fear. We fear the other’s reaction. Notice how in each of these explanations, the burden is put on the other person. “She’ll …

Giving and receiving effective feedback may mean giving up “Northwest Nice” to be present and authentic I’m one of those people who can be a little smug about how awesome it is to live in the Northwest. We have gorgeous mountains, rivers, lakes, coastline, forests and great food. We place a premium on good relationships, which gives us strong communities. But just like everything has an upside, everything has a downside, too. Our preference for positive relationships can some